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lyrics
Broadway Junction, my dick won't function
And Luigi's credit card just malfunctioned
Normally I would be quite concerned
But he spent our last check on an eighth to burn
July 1st and the rent is due
Now nobody even buys Luigi's nudes
And I'm worried Patreon will sue
Since he smoked meth on video back in June
To hear your own parents say Luigi is irrelevant
This is how the White Stripes felt after Elephant
Publicists snoring, fans say we're boring
And my best friends turned their backs like a door hinge
They call it a dream 'cause it don't come true
When Luigi tells you
You're gonna make it big someday
Don't you know he'll always lead you astray
I don't make money and I don't make friends
Luigi, this appears to be the end
The door is closing and you won't get through
Win or lose, pain will still pursue you
Tried to kill myself, Uigi didn't even notice
Little things make me wonder if he's still truly devoted
Got on two knees, under my tongue I hid a ring
He stuffed it down my throat and screamed "our relationship is history"
At first we talked all night on the phone
Said he'd fuck my brains out til the cows came home
Now I'm lucky if I get a happy birthday text
This is all my fault for letting Kirby homewreck (greatest hits!)
Those who can't create choose to mutilate
So-called fans ditch us when they find somebody new to hate
They think our blood, sweat and cream are only worth half a star
Maybe that's on Uigi's mind when he pulls out the crowbar
To follow God's plan, you must detach from the subjective
I sacrifice my body for the good of the collective
They call it a dream 'cause it don't come true
When Luigi tells you
You're gonna make it big someday
Don't you know he'll always lead you astray
I don't make money and I don't make friends
Luigi, this appears to be the end
The door is closing and you won't get through
Win or lose, pain will still pursue you
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